Aries: The BEST zodiac sign

Aug 30

zodiacchic:

ZodiacChic Post:Aries

zodiacchic:

ZodiacChic Post:Aries

shitthesignssay:

"Aries dealing with a problem"

shitthesignssay:

"Aries dealing with a problem"

Aug 29

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

Aug 28

The Signs drunk

zodiac—signs:

Aries - *slams head in the car’s door* WHAT THE FUCK?! GODDAMMIT *punches car’s door* I AM TOUGHER THAN YOU
Taurus - I should go home??…NO…I have to pee now but FUCK IT, TACOOOOS!! *is the last one leaving the party*
Gemini - Let me tell you one thing….I NEED TO THROW UP, AND YOU? DO YOU NEED TO THROW UP? *throws up* I TOTALLY THROW UP MORE THAN ALL OF YOU
Cancer - no I can’t handle this I just can’t, for real!! *sits in a corner whining* WHERE ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!! YOU NEVER CALL ME!
Leo - DON’T STOP! BELIEVINNNN!/HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEE…HEY! && NOW….THANK YOU! YOU’VE BEEN A WONDERFUL AUDIENCE *falls down* THANKS OKAY
Virgo - I need to go to the bathroom…but this one’s so gross this is SO NOT ACCEPTABLE!! I’ll just drive home I’ll drive all of you home lemme just… *falls down* DAMMIT GRAVITY
Libra - LETS DANCEE!! or we could just drink maybe…HEY!! THAT SKIRT IS BEAU-TIFUL GURL
Scorpio - OMG I just got laid, TWICE! NOW ANYONE’S UP FOR A ORGY? 
Sagittarius - WE SHOULD GO ON A TRIP RIGHT NOW!! OKAY LETS MAKE A PLAN. I MEAN….BAH! SCREW PLANS, LETS SWIM *runs* 
Capricorn - *falls down* NO. I don’t need help getting up. I meant to fall off my bar stool, it’s all part of my stradedy… I mean stradegy…stra… *falls down again*
Aquarius - I once read that porcupines float in water….so we should preserve their habitat. Oh God. YOU HUMANS ARE AWFUL!! YOU’RE KILLING THEM!! I’MMA GET TWO PORCUPINES MYSELF
Pisces - god…look at this table..so beautiful.. *looks up, then looks down again* wait? How could I not notice…it’s so…wait what? the ceiling is white!! and so high!!

zodiacsociety:

KAMA SUTRA For Each Zodiac Sign!
How To Seduce Each Zodiac Sign
Zodiac Signs Being Drunk
If Each Zodiac Sign Was a Drug

zodiacsociety:

(via zodiacsociety)

Aug 27

zodiaccity:

Aries after an argument — Regrets their temper but glad the got their point across; may be distant for a little while

zodiaccity:

Aries after an argument — Regrets their temper but glad the got their point across; may be distant for a little while

shitthesignssay:

We do not own Archer or the characters in it. This set was created using the personalities of the characters and not their stated date of birth.
-Shit the Signs Say

shitthesignssay:

We do not own Archer or the characters in it. This set was created using the personalities of the characters and not their stated date of birth.

-Shit the Signs Say

Aug 26

What the signs would say/do if they were getting arrested

zodiac—signs:

Aries - WTF DO YOU MEAN? *punches officer* YEAH, TRY TO ARREST ME NOW! *runs*
Taurus - It wasn’t me, I was home, doing other things rather than killing someo - oh, donuts! *gets inside police car*
Gemini - *starts arguing with themself* "You did it, no you did! I didn’t do it, so you had to be the one who did it, no I’m telling you, I didn’t do it, oh yes you did!"
Cancer
What do you mean I killed this person? I was at the hospital visiting my mom who’s on her deathbed. I just got a call, she woke up now. Please officer, let me visit her before she dies.. *gets free pass*
Leo - I swear I didn’t kill anyone! Please! I’m so innocent! *sees a group of people looking* HELL YEAH I KILLED HIM. I KILLED HIM GOOD! NOBODY MESSES WITH THIS BIG, BAD LEO!
Virgo -
Technically, you can’t arrest me because you have no actual proof. You can use probable cause to search me, but you can’t arrest me.
Libra - ugh, this is not pretty, not pretty at all. *brushes hair*
Scorpio - *says nothing* *police car mysteriously crashes* *scorpio gets away without any witnesses*
Sagittarius - I’m getting arrested! 
This is so cool omg I’m getting arrested for the first time ever. Hey, do you want to turn this into a road trip and take our time getting there?
Capricorn
My lawyer will sue you and your partner for defamation and your sergeant and your captain for hiring you IDIOTS! And the person that actually committed the crime!
AquariusYou know there’s more important things in this world such as world hunger or our corrupt government, than the accidental death of a lady no one likes. 
Pisces - Why am I getting arrested? *cries* I thought if I didn’t pay it, it would simply go away! *shrugs shoulders*

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

Aug 25

things the Signs should probably stop doing (#1)

zodiac—signs:

Aries: stop doing everything so hastily like there’s no tomorrow, no time to waste. sometimes patience can help you win

Taurus: stop hoarding things just because they remind you of something important

Gemini: stop using your talent with words to mislead others, you can do better

Cancer: stop holding on. let go of the grudge, you can’t please everyone

Leo: stop trying to be an overachiever at all costs. you don’t really have to prove yourself

Virgo: stop being your worst enemy. perfection is impossible. enjoy your triumphs

Libra: stop lying to prevent someone from getting hurt. hiding the truth can be even more damaging

Scorpio: stop trying so hard to be in control, and instead realize not everyone wants to betray you

Sagittarius: stop running away. commitment doesn’t have to be boring

Capricorn: stop repressing your desires. you don’t have to look composed all the time, you’re not going to embarrass yourself

Aquarius: stop trying to clarify everything. some things don’t have a rational explanation (yes I’m talking about emotions!)

Pisces: stop being everything to everyone. you’ll lose yourself in the process of trying to save the whole world

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

Aug 24

shitthesignssay:

Enjoy your last few weeks of summer!
Source: http://www.behance.net/gallery/Gelato-Horoscope-Vice-Magazine/11579737

shitthesignssay:

Enjoy your last few weeks of summer!

Source: http://www.behance.net/gallery/Gelato-Horoscope-Vice-Magazine/11579737

The Signs After Killing the Person They Hate The Most

zodiac—signs:

Aries:
image

Taurus:
image

Gemini:
image

Cancer:
image

Leo:
image

Virgo:
image

Libra:
image

Scorpio:
image

Sagittarius:
image

Capricorn:
image

Aquarius:
image

Pisces:
image

Aug 23

[video]