Zodiac Aries facts — Aries can make you cry, give you the evil eye or be your ride or die, that’s up to how you treat them.
Aries: I’m better than all of you assholes
Taurus: I could eat some cake right now.
Gemini: I’m going to pretend I care about what you just said
Cancer: I need hugs and cookies.
Leo: Fuck u bitch I’m fabulous, bow down to me.
Virgo: You’re all uncultered swines.
Libra: Stop war hug more
Scorpio: I tired of your bullshit, I just wanna sleep
Sagittarius: I wanna fuck your girlfriend
Capricorn: Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
Aquarius: I’m hot and gay.
Pisces: Fuck my life.
Fun facts about your sign here
(Source: instagram.com, via thezodiaczone)
aries cannot accept limitations because within themselves they see every possibility
aries are full of matchsticks they are forever igniting to erupt into new flames. they are agile in mind and body and rejuvenate from their own exertion of energy
Aries- Idk, I thought this would be a little more interesting. Now that you’re tied up, I’m a little bit bored. I’m going out.
Taurus- That was way harder than I thought it would be. Just stay her a sec,heh. I gotta go get an energy drink.
Gemini- *slaps you* WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF JUNE 2? KiDding, you were at my birthday party, duuh.
Cancer- I could have offered you the easy way, but nobody ever choose that so I just assumed….aaaaaaand now we’re here!
Leo- HA HA HA I DID IT! NOW YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO MY ENTIRE PLAN WHICH I WILL TELL YOU FOR NO LOGICAL REASON BUT TO GLOAT!
Virgo- I’m going to jail. Am I ready for jail? Is anyone really ready for jail? Did you see my face yet??
Libra- I don’t know if I used the right kind of rope. I wish they had review to help you make these kinds of everyday decisions. I could go buy more, I suppose. You promise not to leave?
Scorpio- Oh…you’re not…I’m sorry…I thought you were someone else. Fuck.
Sagittarius- You’re tied the fuck up, motherfucker!
Capricorn- I’m almost insulted that you didn’t see this coming. Then again, I guess that’s why you’re tied up and I’m not.
Aquarius- Mind helping me set up some IKEA furniture?
Pisces- Now that I have you…want some tea? How many sugars do you take?